16/4/19

Not gonna beat around the bush, let's get into it.

From the top of my head I suppose past events involved a lot of working overnights I guess. Looking at my last post I did indeed get that VR headset and definitely did not nor am I close to getting a car. I got in to a new hobby known as Gelsoft or Gelballing. It's essentially Airsoft but with different kinda ammunition so much so that it's classed as "toys" with the police here in QLD and in SA however VIC and NSW (Especially NSW) deem them as illegal which again fuels the notion that this countries laws are so out of whack it's essentially different countries. But anyway yeah the hobby is great and so much fun plus it's easily accessible with no licensing required and no insurance either so anyone with a big yard can host. Though I've gone way overboard and spent nearly two grand on the hobby (whoops).

Other events include a slew of parties, most of which were pretty insignificant as I didn't stay at them long, a games night which went decently though a lot of room for improvement and a trip down to Melbourne again. The Melbourne trip was nice, only wanted to go a weekend mainly cause work and I didn't feel like adventuring that time round, just a quick catch up (which was very refreshing) and an engagement party. Funny how life works out, going to see a friend who I hadn't spoken to in a year who lives more than 2,000kms away and that icing on the cake, we had a crush on each other in grade 9 and didn't even know it! Not saying I'd do things differently, this guy is definitely a match made for her and I am definitely 100% happy for them which is... a nice feeling, to be happy for others. Seeing so many breakups, family/religion/tradition pushed relationships and eye rolling fast engagements gets real tiresome but I'm glad to see some actual real people with actual genuine feelings for each other without any outside stimuli. Very refreshing. Now to wait for the weddings! Though it's funny that two of the short list of proper couples live far away from me so I spose I better save up that flight money for both their weddings! Speaking of wedding, one of my managers got wed though I was invited last minute I couldn't attend unfortunately though I am glad to have attended his bachelor party so to speak which was a sweet escape room venture, pancakes and bowling! 

With all this coupling I can say that again: I have not nor have I bothered looking for anyone. The girl I mentioned in my previous post I'm completely over as I realise this late in the game that our sense of humor is out of sync and we don't have that many things in common plus she's as stubborn as... I'd say rock but most likely more than a rock forged in the core of a planet. Still though, good friends and I do appreciate our chats. Perhaps I was too awestruck at the time, that and her rack is huge and I'm not gonna hide my uhh 'preference' for such physical trait. Hm oh well.
Haven't really met many new people, sure I've met mutual friends but not enough for me to go out of my way for. Need to focus on getting that full time job if I can be arsed applying. I made the decision to quit my current job in June to hopefully get me motivated enough to get another job. Heres hoping I guess.

So why do I like mixing my state of mind with that of being single? People would say that maybe I'm longing for it secretly but really it's just the chemistry in my brain trying to push me again. The spur of writing this was that I wasn't feeling all that bright today but I just have to keep reminding myself that I absolutely do not deserve to feel down when I have it good. Friends, Family and all the things in between, everything is fine and I honestly should  never feel down knowing this and yet it creeps in the back of my mind. My conscious can only do much to think this through logically but the sub conscious is fighting just as viciously. As much as it would be nice to go all Vulcan on this I am Human I spose. Having animalistic desires sucks ass. Should go away by the time my work week finishes... hopefully.