3/3/16

The lords have blessed upon this world the greatest gift a primitive male brute could hope for; Women.

Before I go on a spiel about the miracles of biological life, first I need to get something out of the way which is the complete opposite. Fellas and gals, time I talk about restroom etiquette. We already know the basics, clean if you fuck up, flush, wash your hands and if there are 4 urinals and one is being used, do not go next to that fellow and go towards the one furthermost as possible. Now there seems to be this perception of those who use the stalls to chuck a piss. Now for you circumcised  fellas it doesn't really affect you much but for us uncircumcised fellas we use the stalls as it adds a layer of unpredictability. Stream could go left, right, straight or in a hose nozel spray. So fellas. How bout we lay off the FUCKING ASSUMPTIONS YOU COCKS.

Alright now that the manly stuff is out of the way, time to talk about the elegant graces that are bestowed upon us in womanly form. So begins the second day of university (the first one was great and all as it had some very ripe cherries to pick from but today took the cake). I enter my first of three lectures for the day and in that I was graced by the presence of that girl I went to lunch with way back. Course in my head I was like "You're over it Owen, no need to worry" and she comes in wearing a black low cut tank top that just made be do that thing where you bite your fist, not quite sure what the expression is called but the closest thing I can think of would be awe. DAMN YOU WOMEN AND YOUR SEDUCTIVE WAYS. So that got my head in a loop... that was until the next lecture when life decided to give me a beacon of hope and enlightenment. *cue chariots of fire at the 0:28 mark*
There. There sat the pure and prime elegance of human biological diversity. The definition of beauty and grace. A prime 9 out of 10. Curves, check, face, check, minimal abnormalities, check. What took the cake though? She wants to be a Sociologist. I was rock solid for a good 2 hours. The dream had been achieved. I had found the true calling... but a couple of things then come to mind in the form of two quotes that I have uttered in the past. "The good ones are taken" and "Just because she's perfect doesn't mean she's single". Some day I will see if this is the angel visiting us from her realm, a succubus to drain my life energy or a flat out illusion. My gawd though. Fudge has said to me "You're not going to uni to learn are you?" to which I promptly replied "Nope."