How. I can't. Just. Wow.
Time goes way too fast despite myself being a patient man (except for cases involving the internet). Is 80 - 100 years of existance enough? 12 - 20 years of education, 40 - 60 years working then the rest to actually "live". Who knows.
So back on track, recent events included lots of working which has been great to my bank account! I managed to get enough saved for the cruise and the excess will be put towards secondary holidays and social gatherings. Last night was Swifts birthday so we hit the club and this was one of the rare occasions that i was actually fully drunk at a club! All my hateful thoughts went out the window and i quite enjoyed myself. Though I just danced a little bit then sat around most of the time because the DJ insisted on playing slow paced music. In the end we got kicked out because security deemed the birthday girl to be too drunk. I think they get her bubbly personality confused with actual drunkeness. Slept over and has maccas for breaky before parting ways.
While I remember, Supanova (pop culture expo) was on. A nice hard pass this year for me. Seems like just yesturday i went to last years one.
So tonight is a mixed bag. I'm invited to two different things and I'm not sure if I'll be going to one or both. Transportation would be a nightmare but then again who goes to the clubs at 7:30?
I think I may go to this house party at 5 and assess my fucks-to-give percentage by 9 and if it's high then I'll stay, if not then i'll go.
A party full of people I know or a club crawl with an ex fuck buddy, her bf and people I don't know. Both sound equally as adventurous and the second option is in proximity to strip clubs.
Guess I'll figure it out tonight.
On the feels side of life- yeah fuck that, alcohol is my best friend right now. But speaking medically it's safe to say I have a food addiction. However the way people treat it, they don't seem to realise how fragile this society is when it comes to deficiencies and addictions. Thinking about it now there are so many things wrong with the human form and yet people still get looked down upon for having one of the vastly many problems that can occur to a person mainly because they see them as weak for giving in. That because they've experienced it and beat it that it puts them above everyone else. I never want to ever set foot in a gym. Why? Because people have proven you can lose weight through proper routine. Why would I want muscles? I don't see myself needing to lift anything drastically heavy and have no desires on putting myself through tremendous sacrifice and pain for very little result. Yes I admit, I'm overweight. But I just want to live. I don't want to spend my young years putting myself through pain, not yet. I have uni to worry about and then having to find full time work. When that's sorted then I will give it my full attention. I know friends who gym like crazy and I admire that but they have full time jobs and the time to do their crazy workouts and the results definitely shoe. They're not bogged down in assignments and exams, they're living life to the fullest.
So to sum it up, I don't want a girlfriend. Not in the state I'm in and the life goals that need to be met first. I'll consider a dietry routine when I'm not stressed and have the time to do it. I don't want muscles as I believe the power would go to my head causing vast personality shifts that would be of no benefit to anyone.
If a girl likes me for me then so be it but right now I'm not actively searching. It's gotten to the point that I am perfectly content to die alone (at any point this mentality can change but I'm speaking more about the present state of mind).
To end on a strong point though, i am loving life. The people around me are beaming positive influences and my family and financial situation is very stable. I just need to work out what to do next.
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