No ones young forever.
To start things off recent events have been another over night shift at maccas which was a rather good shift! I got home and watched some videos before I ended up falling asleep. Next thing I know, Cuddles calls me asking if I'm ready, here I am thinking "IT'S 5PM ALREADY!?". So we went on a trip to skyzone with the high school/fabulous 4 crews. If I haven't talked about skyzone before it's an indoor trampoline and laser tag complex. I ended up coming first in laser tag (I suppose a bit of insanity works well in the arena). After we went back to Fudges place to play cards and tell stories. I still snored that night despite my further attempts at ceasing it, I need to see a doctor. Today was a chill around Fudges and Sirens.
On the feels side of life (shock horror it's been a while), a prevailing lesson in life most people are taught is that if you like a girl, you gun for it or regret it for the rest of your life. A missed opportunity is much worse than heartbreak.
I'm beginning to realise how true it's becoming but the thing that annoys the funk out of me is that if I get a feeling that I may harbour feelings for someone, my first instinct is to suppress and ignore it. The problem with that is that I begin to lose sight of signs and signals that the other would exhibit causing me to completely miss many opportunities (not that many has presented themselves). An example I like to tell my friends is, say a girl is having a shower and has left the shower and bathroom door open. Me being stupid would give her her towel and close the doors without realising what I've done.
So what has the last paragraph been about in accordance to my life? I'm known as a wingman and I've shipped many couples. Their are a few particular friends I know where I simply just feel uneasy with the thought of them getting relationships. I'm attempting to distinguish whether it's the feeling that I'll lose that person as a close peer or if it's jealousy. In the past I've lost friends due to their relationship and that pisses me the fuck off. I've never experienced jealousy when it comes to women though so I wouldn't accurately be able to tell if it is in fact jealousy that I feel.
It also doesn't help that I'm just an average person in an average household with average skillsets whilst lots of other people have a great many traits that trump my own. Of course everyone deserves better. Much better than me. I suppose great things will happen with patience and time. I suppose it's the hormones and subconscious dying to find a match. What I would give to just be able to see people as an asexual person would, but no I'm heterosexual, I have emotions and feelings.
The perks to being Human.
No comments:
Post a Comment